Draft 2021

Last year I wrote a happiness plan. Then life got in the way. I recently mentioned this in a small group and someone commented, “I hate when life gets in the way of happiness.” My first reaction was agreement, but then I realized this wasn’t quite what I had meant. While upheavals in my children's lives derailed that particular plan, I’m not sure that my happiness was completely quashed. Oh, I definitely wasn’t happy as first one child, then another, then another, had major mental health crises. In fact, their dips into major depression and anxiety took me to the precipice of my own mental well-being. But these were just circumstances; events that have been an all too frequent part of my life since my children's illnesses became apparent. And before that, I had my own struggles with depression and anxiety. And while the pain of watching my children's suffering is excruciating, somehow I’ve learned to maintain my own core of contentment. I hope this doesn’t sound crass or la

I stood in the open doorway; most of the furniture was already gone. Just a smattering of cat toys and miscellaneous socks littered the floor. It was just a little more than a year ago that we repainted her room - a surprise for her return from abroad. Now she’s leaving in a week - first apartment, first professional job, first time that home will have a different meaning for her. But the room looks so empty. We have plans for the space - a computer desk for my husband, an out-of-the-way place for the exercise bike. It will be ours from now on; she’ll only be coming home to visit. The cats will have to adjust to having just me; only one lap, one person to exclaim over their antics. My son busily sorts through his papers, packs books and miscellaneous keepsakes to be stored in our basement. He has lived away before, but now he’s leaving for a grad program in a different state. No more random coffee cups left on end tables, giant shoes cluttering the entryway; one less person coming and